As it happened - Thursday
11:20am - Morning. Lovely day for it.
11:30am - Deliberations are officially underway in London at the meeting to decide how to solve the tricky problem of punishing Nico Rosberg, Robert Kubica and Nick Heidfeld for breaking somesuch fuel temperature regulation during the Brazilian GP while sidestepping the landmine that would be handing Lewis Hamilton the world's most undeserved Drivers' Championship by disqualifying the tricksy threesome. Disqualify them but don't promote the other drivers up the finishing order you say? Not without a two day-long meeting, you won't.
12.25pm - McLaren scored an early victory by getting a home draw for the hearing. Originally pencilled in to happen in "neutral" Paris, it was moved to jolly London town to avoid the turmoil of the Gallic transport staff stikes currently taking place. Though one may wonder whether Max Mosely and the gang really all took the Tube to the hearing today. I of course refuse to go down such a cynical road, knowing for a fact that they all took the 345 bus from Peckham.
12:55pm - Selected soundbites of F1's talking heads sees Damon Hill affirm that "I think it's very, very unlikely that Lewis will be Champion", while his old sparring partner Michael Schumacher, fresh from impressing everyone with his Pedro de la Rosa-beating speed in a recent one-off Ferrari test drive, claims "I would be very surprised if Kimi loses out". Possibly the most interesting quote came from F1 oligarch Bernie Ecclestone, who apparently claimed he'd retire if Lewis was handed the 2007 title. It would be almost worth Lewis getting given the crown just to see the reaction on Bernie's face, to be honest. It reminds me of the time an old school friend confidently asserted that they'd run naked around the playground if I drank a whole jug of school-issue milk. It is true what they say, he who laughs last, suffers from curdled-milk-based salmonella the following day...
1.30pm - Reuters reports that the McLaren lawyers called for the disqualification of all three drivers from the results, and backs up Hamilton's chances by saying that in all other F1 disqualifications, the drivers below have been moved up the order. A fair enough, if meaningless observation, given the difference in relevence between any other DQ and this one. The BMW/Williams side of the argument get their go after lunch. We wait with baited breath. Of course the issue with disqualifying the three drivers and not promoting the other finishers up the order is that it leaves three rogue finishing positions (4th, 5th, 6th), which could well confuse stastisticians in the distant future.
3.00pm - Above all, the FIA will have to consider the impact any switching of the title would have on civilisation. The combined impact of every F1 fanatic banging their table with disgust could be enough to knock the planet off its axis and plunge us into an ice age.
4.45pm - "It would be a serious injustice to Mr Raikkonen were the championship to be taken away from him." Not the words of me, but of Ferrari lawyer Nigel Tozzi, the Ally McBeal of F1 court cases after his victory over evil earlier in the year. McLaren are, understandably, getting a bit of a reputation smearing in court, as BMW's legal bod weighs in with a quip of how McLaren's appeal smacks of "naked opportunism". The swines.
5.30pm - So then, a hugely "exciting" "day" comes to an end. The verdict will be issued tomorrow at some point, and everyone heads off for a spot of dinner and a lie down with McLaren CEO Martin Whitmarsh's words of innocence wafting past their ears, as he continues to claim that McLaren are simply "seeking to clarify the regulatory uncertainty that has arisen from a decision of the FIA Stewards at the 2007 Brazilian Grand Prix and not to win the Driver's World Championship". Liar, liar, pants on fire, etc.
Half-Time
As it happened - Friday
12.00pm - So doomsday is upon us. The verdict of the crack team of the four-man FIA judging panel is expected at some point this afternoon, and the whole world has come grinding to a halt. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife, the tension is cranked all the way up to eleven, and many other cliches as well. Friki's not tense though, in tribute to last nights episode of The Mighty Boosh, it had champagne on its Golden Grahams this morning, and is feeling all the more relaxed for it.
12.30pm - I was originally shocked to be confronted with "McLaren Expects Qualification" headlines draped across many sporting websites. How could the team be so blasé about the whole thing, it thought. Turns out it was a story about different McLaren.
2.45pm - Tum tee tum. They make you wait, these appeal judges, you know.
3.30pm - Good old Eurosport is running a poll asking whether the uninformed internet traffic passing through its site reckon McLaren will be successful or not. Currently, 15% say yes, 77% say no, and a charming 8% were not even aware an appeal was taking place. But still felt the need to vote.
4.30pm - Ah, journalism. A certain website of note is reporting that the McLaren appeal has been thrown out, but clairfys it with "this has not been officially confirmed but does come from a very good source". In other news I would like to report that Angelina Jolie is on her way round to Patronise HQ right now to profess her undying love for me. This has not been officially confirmed but does come from a very good source.
5.20pm - Still nothing concrete. You do begin to wonder what is taking them so long...
The Elbow is totally confused and wondering why there's still no verdict at 6.09pm...
6.30pm - In other news, it looks like Timo Glock will drive for Toyota next year, filling in another piece of the 2008 grid puzzle. And also, I'd just like to clarify that if this appeal goes to a third day, there's naff all chance I'm covering it. I do have a life outside talking about nothing happening. Honest.
10.20pm - Ha. In your face, FIA verdicts. I don't care. I went to the pub without waiting for the verdict. Nevertheless, it turns out the McLaren appeal has been thrown out. Kimi Raikkonen is a champion, officially, and 2008 will see a new era in the flaunting of fuel temperature regulations, based on this truly epic precedent. I just hope you're ready for the pandora's box you've just opened, Formula One.
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