Prologue
12.30 BST - A very good afternoon and welcome to Patty for the Italian GP. I are The Elbow, and I'm hoping to be joined by The Head (if he drags himself out of bed) and The Foot (if he's calmed down after Webber's efforts yesterday).
12.35 BST - Talking of yesterday, we have a Toro Rosso on Pole Position for the first time ever in Sebastian Vettel, who stole Fernando Alonso's crown as youngest ever polesitter. Heikki Kovalainen sits second withMark Webber third in the Red Bull. Vettel's team-mate Sebastien Bourdais makes it three Red Bulls in the top 4, with NICO in 5th. The Foot talked about Qualifying here.
12.40 BST - Lewis "I'm great in these conditions" Hamilton is way back in 15th on the grid after screwing up his tyre choice during the second session. He obviously "didn't have the balls to brake late". This gives 6th placed Felipe Massa a big chance to take over the championship lead. Massa of course is "rubbish" in the wet, yet easily beat Raikkonen (14th) yesterday, and was the only Ferrari on the track at the flag in Belgium.
The Foot - "Ahoy there viewer. I have calmed down since yesterday, it was great for Mark, though knowing that he'll probably DNF has dampened my spirits somewhat. I will say before The Head gets here that I do expect Rosberg will lose a front wing in this GP."
12.45 BST - Also on Massa, the Brazilian has taken advantage of his free engine change after qualifying, which could give him a big advantage for the race, and puts him on the preferred cycle for the final races, including a fresh engine for the last race. They seem to have copied this tactic from Webber and Red Bull, who did it a couple of days ago. It's so bizarre to see such a wet Monza, it's poured down for 3 days now. The only rain we can remember at Monza was in the 1981 and 2004 races.
12.50 BST - Martin collars Heikki's engineer, Gerhard Berger and Bernie on his gridwalk. As per the controversy at Fuji last year, the cars MUST start on extreme wet tyres if the race starts behind the safety car (which looks likely). Meanwhile, dare I mention the Hondas? Jenson Button was due to start 19th, but is lining up in the pitlane. Team-mate Barrichello is 16th, but both are renowned wet-weather specialists.
12.55 BST - Praiseworthy mention goes to Giancarlo Fisichella and Force India, with the Italian getting the teaminto Q2 for the first time ever. He starts 12th, but team-mate Adrian Sutil is 20th. Or was, before Button and Nakajima popped into the pits. Not that it really matters, because they are indeed starting behind the safety car. That led to a nasty situation at the 1st chicane in the GP2 race yesterday, so let's hope for no repeat here.
So then, we're ready to go!
Race
Lap 1 - As ever with a Safety Car start, there's no formation lap, so this will be the first lap of 53. And unfortunately for Bourdais, his car hasn't moved an inch, and he's pushed off the track. Hopefully they can get him going quickly so he can join the train at the back without losing a lap.
Lap 2 - The Safety Car stays out. Seabass is still sitting in the pitlane. No, he's got going. He was crying after losing a podium in Spa, I bet his glasses are a bit steamed up now. Safety Car in this lap! Let's see who tries stupid moves into the first chicane.
The Foot - "Look at the way Webber dropped Bourdais, legend."
Lap 3 - Nobody went banzai. Boo, where's Sato when you need him? Timo Glock has passed Alonso for 7th but everyone else is being boring. No, Alonso retakes Glock.
Lap 4 - DC passes Fisi at the first chicane for 11th, then randomly drops back behind him, Kimi and Lewis, who passes Kimi by cutting the 2nd chicane. Ah memories. He gives it back properly this time though. Adverts 4 laps in for God's sake.
Lap 6 - Vettel is pulling away by over a second and a half per lap. Can't have much fuel in that Toro Rosso. Heikki pegs him a bit this lap, but 0.7 still added to the lead.
Lap 7 - Glock spins at the 1st chicane and falls back behind Robert Kubica. Kovalainen and Webber set identical laptimes to one thousandth of a second, taking a whole 0.07 out of Vettel's lead.
Lap 9 - Kimi gets Fisi into the first chicane for 11th. Lewis is already 26 seconds behind his team-mate and 16 seconds behind Massa, who's 5th behind Nico.
Lap 10 - Purple sectors popping up all over the computer screen now, from Alonso and Webber. Lewis now passes Kimi into that first chicane. Vettel is out fron, driving like the veteran he is not.
Lap 11 - This really is lap by lap updates. Lewis passes Kimi into the Lesmos and is speeding up. Poor old Bourdais, 20th and lapped, is the fastest man in sector 1.
Lap 13 - Adverts. Nico and Massa are having a superb ding-dong, with Massa passing him in the first chicane but not able to get the traction out of it, and Nico getting back ahead. Massa keeps at it though and passes him into the second chicane. Fantastic. Or so my radio is telling me. Meantime, Fisi collides with DC and goes out.
Lap 14 - Hamilton passes Heidfeld into the first chicane. Massa is told to let Rosberg back through it appears, and does so. Then passes him into turn one again. I haven't got a clue what's happening. Oh there's the Fisi thing...and he just drove into the back of DC. Own fault.
Lap 16 - Hamilton has found a lot of pace out of nowhere, and passes Glock into the first chicane. However the German gets better traction and tries to squeeze around the outside of Curva Grande. Hamilton is having none of that and squeezes him onto the grass. Naughty.
Lap 17 - Barrichello is the first man to pit. If Honda were that light they're awful. Hamilton has passed Kubica now, while Alonso's team announce rain is expected in 5 minutes. Raikkonen meanwhile continues to be crap in 12th.
Lap 19 - Vettel pits! And puts on extreme wets. The German rejoins ahead of Rosberg in 4th place, while Hamilton barges past Alonso on the pit straight. Kubica then loses out to Glock at Roggia.
Lap 21 - Massa was indeed told to let Nico back through. It's all a conspiracy to favour Fer.....oh. The Brazilian meanwhile is 2 seconds quicker than the guys infront of him. And Glock now passes Alonso for 8th.
Lap 22 - Lewis passes Trulli into the first chicane, but overshoots and goes across the chicane in the process. Amazingly he lets the Toyota back through. Meanwhile the top 3 all come in together! We'll find out where they rejoined. Vettel is back in the lead though.
Lap 23 - Ad break number 3. Vettel leads, and Rosberg is passed by Hamilton for second. Trulli and Glock are 4th and 5th, Heikki 6th, Alonso 7th. Webber rejoined 9th and Massa is 12th. Kimi meanwhile has passed Heidfeld for 11th.
Lap 26 - Glock pits, but Hamilton has sensed a big chance to win this race and is lapping 2 seconds faster per lap than the Toro Rosso, who believe the McLaren will pit in 3 laps. Meanwhile Massa is stuck behind Heidfeld.
Lap 27 - Trulli and Kimi in this time around. Looks like that'll be Trulli's sole stop, but I reckon Kimi will be in again.
Lap 28 - Hamilton pits this time around for what will be his only stop. He needs to put in some really strong laps now to stand a chance of jumping some people at their second stops.
Lap 29 - Nico makes his sole stop...and the hose gets a bit stuck. That'll cost him a couple of vital seconds, and it brings him out behind Kimi. Ted reports DC will be the guinea pig, the first to go onto inters, sorry, wets. Shades of Indianapolis a few years ago. And he's off at the first chicane. That was Luca Filippi-esque.
Lap 31 - Alonso joins the party on wets. I'd fancy him to make better use of them than DC. A lot of drivers are moving offline to cool their extreme wets. Let's have a look at Alonso...he's pretty close to the pace. Maybe he's found the moment. For an adbreak.
Lap 33 - Anyone who's on a one-stopper (bar Alonso) and is on exreme wets may suffer here if there's no more rain. In other words, Vettel is looking very good for a maiden Grand Prix victory. Oh, Massa makes his second stop and takes the opportunity to put wets on. Incase you're confused, "wets" are what most sane people call intermediates. Nico and Glock decide this is the moment and take on wets too.
Lap 35 - Kovalainen comes in for his second stop and takes on wets. Kubica comes in for his one and only stop, and is able to take on intermediates. Webber comes in too, he's looking pretty good. Not as good as Alonso though, who is ahead of him!
Lap 36 - Webber's outlap goes from bad to worse as Massa passes him. And it goes from worse to worser as he spins at Ascari. Kimi pits in and rejoins 13th-ish.
Lap 37 - The leader Vettel pits for the second time and leaves after 6.7 seconds to resume in a comfortable lead. Hamilton follows him in and takes on wets, and Piquet is the last man to stop. On lap 37. Incredible. Lewis rejoins behind Webber but passes him pretty swiftly into Roggia. But he's behind Massa.
Lap 38 - ITV take what should be their final break, so let's take stock. Vettel leads Kovalainen by 9.7 seconds, and extended that by a couple of tenths last time around. Kubica's heavy fuel load allowed him to move into third, while Alonso (the first man in a decent position to change) is 4th. Hamilton though is the fatest man on the track by a country mile. And Sutil spins on leaving the pits.
Lap 40 - We're in for a cracking finish here. Massa passes Heidfeld into turn 1 but runs across the chicane and has to concede. Vettel continues to pull away, and Hamilton continues to fly towards Massa and co ahead of him.
Lap 43 - Kimi Raikkonen, World Champion, passes Nakajima for 13th. Glock passes the Japanese for 14th. Bad couple of corners for Kazuki. Amazingly though by way of circumstances, Nakajima is ahead of his much faster team-mate Rosberg. Boobens pits from 9th, and Piquet moves into that position after DC runs off at Ascari.
Lap 45 - Kimi does his usual trick, waking up 10 laps before the end, and setting the fastest lap. Just what on earth is he up to? Vettel continues to pull away in the lead. This is a quite unbelievable performance from the young German, who looks set to take a maiden win in only his 22nd Grand Prix. Mind you, the last time I was in this seat Massa blew up 3 laps from the flag in Hungary.
Lap 49 - Kimi passes DC for 10th and is on Piquet's rear, taking that place into the first chicane. Meanwhile Glock tries to take DC but fails. Webber is catching Hamilton for 7th...and Hamilton essentially pushes Webber off the track. He really doesn't help himself that lad.
Lap 50 - Glock puts an excellent move on DC around the outside of Parabolica for 11th.
Lap 51 - Nakajima tries to pull the same move on DC but they touch, Nakajima spinning around. Another notch on DC's front wing endplate.
Lap 52 - Sebastian Vettel then, cruising around the penultimate lap. The Toro Rosso team used to be Minardi, and their best ever result was 4th. What a performance.
Lap 53 - CHEQUERED FLAG! - An unbelievable maiden victory for Vettel. He adds youngest ever winner to his youngest polesitter accolade from yesterday. What a faultless drive.
Kovalainen comes in second for 8 solid is unspectacular McLaren points. Kubica's fuel tank gets him third, Alonso's quick thinking got him 4th, and Heidfeld held off Massa for 5th. Hamilton stuttered and bullied his way to 7th, while Webber was 8th, and I wait with interest to hear what he has to say about Hamilton's tactics.
Epilogue
14.30 BST - Toro Rosso catapult into 6th in the Constructors Championship, ahead of their sister Red Bull team. Oops. Renault are now level on points with Toyota in the battle for 4th. Alonso congratulates Vettel, or maybe admonishes him for nicking his records this weekend. Kubica also congratulates the popular young German.
14.33 BST - Raikkonen set the fastest lap on the 53rd and last lap on his way to 9th. I hear the sound of a contract being ripped up.
14.36 BST - And so we hear the German and Italian anthems ring out. It's just like old times isn't it? Everyone seems delighted for Vettel, including Gerhard Berger, who joins him on the podium, the first time we've seen Gerhard up there since Hockenheim 1997.
14.39 BST - Well I lied, it seems Heikki isn't quite so happy, and rightly so to be honest. He was in the fastest car on the grid and didn't win the race. But at the same time, he still comfortably did a better overall job than Lewis this weekend.
14.42 BST - Ferrari wins at Monza, but not the one the crowd will have been hoping for. Massa's 6th placed finish means that his deficit to Hamilton is now one solitary point with four flyaway races to go. Kubica is still in with a shout in third as well. A word for the drivers out there incidentally, in stark contrast to the GP2 races we saw so few mistakes and 19 finishers in treacherous conditions. This, dear reader, is Formula 1.
The Foot - "I'm just thinking about 2009, when RBR suck because they don't have enough resources and don't even know how to spell KERS, the wunderkind mk2 will be pottering around in 14th with Mark. That makes me somewhat happy."
14.45 BST - Indeed, Vettel must be questioning that decision to move upwards to the sister team, given the upturn in performance of Toro Rosso in the past few races. Maybe we'll see a new hotshoe in the way of Sebastien Buemi or Bruno Senna in this position this time next year.
The Head - "I'm putting a bet on Kubica for the title. He'd be far more desirable than useless Massa or choppy Hamilton."
14.50 BST - As ever Massa getting harsh press, despite comfortably out-stripping Raikkonen all weekend, particularly in wet conditions in which he is meant to be bubbish.
Sebastian meanwhile is in the press conference, talking about the contrast between now and the start of the season, where he managed 3 first lap retirements, one further mechnical retirement and a last place finish in the opening 5 races. But from Monaco onwards (inclusive), he has scored 23 points in 9 races, one more than Kimi Raikkonen.
Sebastian gets a bit of a coughing fit on, and Robert kindly slaps him on the back. Heikki sounds as unhappy as he looks, saying second was the maximum he could achieve. Kubica sounds as thrilled as ever. I can't wait to hear his thoughts in Polish.
15.00 BST - Hamilton thinks he was unlucky. I think you were crap yesterday to be honest mate. Incidentally the last time we had three maiden victories in a season was 2003 (Raikkonen, Fisichella and Alonso). And next is the very exciting night race in Singapore with the chance of rain yet again! The Head will be along with a Race Report, and I'll be back to tell you about the conclusion to the GP2 Series. See you later!
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