Patronise F1

Rain. We've been here before. Back on our days when we attached ourselves to Frikipedia like a bloated, F1-obsessed leech, I ranted more than once about my hatred of rain-affected races. So let's not re-tread that old, soggy chestnut. Suffice to say that though I despair of the crash-inducing, race-ruining weather condition, I'll make an exception for the specific situation of "rain at Monaco".

Monaco races are, by and large, staid affairs. The track demands that such a situation is thus. But, chuck a few gallons of rainwater on the track, and now you have yourself a race. On Sunday, just about all the drivers had some problem or another, but Lewis Hamilton managed to pick his way through the carnage, and came back from hitting a barrier early on to grab his second win of the year, and leap back to the top of the championship standings as he did so.

He may have gone into the weekend as a slight favourite, but after Ferrari's performance in qualifying, locking out the front row and forcing Hamilton down to third on the grid, his win here came slightly unexpectedly. From the start, the McLaren (alone on the second row after his team-mate Heikki Kovalainen stalled the sister car from 4th) got the drop on a tardy Kimi Raikkonen to ease into second place into Ste Devote, behind the pole-sitting Ferrari of Felipe Massa.

Early on, drivers were tippy-toeing around the damp track, apart from Jenson Button, who decided that it was easy to pass at Monaco, and was proved wrong when he tripped over Nick Heidfeld's BMW at the Swimming Pool in a fairly stupid move. He was in for a new front wing, as was Nico Rosberg, who undid all his good work on Saturday by being passed by Fernando Alonso off the line, and then running into the back of the Renault at the Grand Hotel (nee Loews, nee Station) Hairpin. Also busy messing up before the race had even really got going was Timo Glock, who spun his Toyota and knackered his own front end.

As Hamilton and Massa swapped times at the front, the pendulum appeared to swing decisively towards Ferrari on lap 6, when Hamilton got a bit squiffy on the exit of Tabac and tagged the barrier, causing a right rear puncture but luckily no suspension problem. Manhandling the car back to the pits, Hamilton used his mistake to switch to a one stop strategy, and used the massive difference in pace down the field to re-emerge from his stop in 5th place.

He was even more fortunate a couple of laps later, when a number of drivers had laughably similar crashes up at Casino Square. Alonso, David Coulthard and Sebastien Bourdais all slithered into the barriers and, though Alonso got going again to pit for repairs, DC and Bourdais were out on the spot. Cue safety car, and cue the gaps at the front closing up.

Once the racing/crashing resumed, Massa led from Raikkonen, Kubica and Hamilton, now 4th after Alonso's crash. And 4th became 3rd for the lucky lad a few laps later, when Raikkonen was handed a drive-through penalty for the slightly gawkish infraction of not having fitted tyres within three minutes of the start of the race. Silly, and it dropped the championship leader out of the contention. Though he would still find time to influence at least some of what was to come, unfortunately. But more of that in a bit.

Alonso continued his amateur race by crashing into Heidfeld at Grand Hotel, causing a traffic jam behind which damaged Rosberg's front wing for the second time in the race. He pitted (again) and attempted a recovery drive (again), but was destined to fail. More of that in a bit, too.

Felipe Massa was looking comfortable in the lead, but nothing is ever simple in Massa World, and he went straight on at Ste Devote to hand the lead to BMW's Robert Kubica, who was having another of his trademark easily-missed quality drives, presumably learning from his team-mate, the king of invisibility. But now he was leading, and some started wondering whether BMW could claim their debut victory. But alas, despite all of the Pole's hard work, the F1.08 is still lagging behind the Ferraris and McLarens in race pace form, and he fell behind Massa and Hamilton after he pitted.

Meanwhile, Kimi Raikkonen was busy finishing off any vague chance he had of a decent finish after his penalty by repeating his team-mate's mistake of overshooting the first corner, but completing an even worse job of it and knocking his front wing off on the barriers. Cue the 545th pit stop made by someone to replace a damaged front wing so far in the race, and cue Kimi dropping well down the order, although he would get at least some way back up the order, unfortunately. But, as I said, more on that in a bit.

After Massa and Kubica pitted, Hamilton inherited the lead, and now had time to make up in order to remain there when he made his stop. Thanks to a cracking series of laps, he did just that, and maintained a lead that he was never to lose, despite another safety car period later on in the race which destroyed a 45 second lead, triggered when Patty favourite Nico Rosberg brought his wild afternoon to a close with a nasty crash at the Swimming Pool section, ripping most of the car off and littering the track with bits of Willy.

One Patty favourite may have made a mess of everything, but at least two others had epic Monaco weekends. Despite having complained after qualifying of a lack of pace, Mark Webber steered his Red Bull through the carnage and chaos to secure a much deserved 4th place, beating his usual 5th by an entire place. The Aussie has had as impressive an opening third of the season as anyone, and the points gained here elevate him to a share of 6th place in the championship, level with McLaren's Kovalainen, no less. Also pleasing Patty was Force India's Adrian Sutil, who has had a rubbish season so far, despite being the reigning Rookie of the Year in the Unofficial Patronise Championship. He benefited from the litany of mistakes from others, but also drove impressively at the track where he'd topped a practice session last year for Spyker.

Having found himself running up in 4th, behind only Hamilton, Kubica and Massa, with a handful of laps to go, he seemed destined for glory. But then, in a piece of bad luck that makes you wonder whether he's the lovechild of Johnny Herbert and Mark Webber themselves, he got nobbled by the recovering Raikkonen into the Nouvelle Chicane, the Finn messing up his braking in the changeable conditions and punting the German into retirement. Cue sadness, shouting at Kimi and tears from Sutil back in the garage. Truly a sob story to melt the coldest of hearts.

Sutil's misfortune was to the benefit of others. The aforementioned Webber inherited 4th, while just behind him, his old friend and Toro Rosso pilot Sebastian Vettel scored his first points of the year to give STR a perfect debut for their 2008 car. Then came Rubens Barrichello, the elder statesman of F1 picking up his first points since the 2006 Brazilian Grand Prix with a low-key but consistent drive. Kazuki Nakajima's Williams and a recovering Heikki Kovalainen rounded out the points scorers, with Kimi Raikkonen only recovering to 9th after the Sutil shunt.

With all the incidents, crashes and nose cone changes required throughout the race, the "two hour" rule was brought into play, and Hamilton got the chequered flag two laps earlier than initially intended, fortuitously as it turned out as the Brit picked up his second puncture of the day on the slowdown lap. More good luck for the chosen one? Well, possibly. But frankly, there were plenty of drivers who got a dose or two of good luck throughout the afternoon. And plenty who got some bad stuff too.

The F1 brigade jet off to Canada next, for a flyaway race to punctuate the relentless flow of European rounds. McLaren have hit back with aplomb at the Ferrari steamroller at Monaco. Can the Italian team respond in Montreal?

Head note: Incidentally, my coverage of the weekend's race was sketchy at best, and involved peering around a rotund lady sitting in front of me at a sports bar on the south coast, while playing drinking games involving gin. So if you've spotted anything I've blatantly got wrong, don't just pout about it, let me know on This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and I'll quietly edit it when no ones looking.

Drivers Championship Standings -
1 Hamilton 38pts, 2 Raikkonen 35pts, 3 Massa 34pts, 4 Kubica 32pts, 5 Heidfeld 20pts, 6 Kovalainen, Webber 15pts, 8 Trulli, Alonso 9pts, 10 Rosberg 8pts, 11 Nakajima 7pts, 12 Vettel 4pts, 13 Barrichello, Button 3pts, 15 Bourdais 2pts.

Constructors Championship Standings -
1 Ferrari 69pts, 2 McLaren 53pts, 3 BMW 52pts, 4 Red Bull, Wiliams 15pts, 6 Renault, Toyota 9pts, 8 Toro Rosso, Honda 6pts.