Prologue - The problem with purple patches is that, by their very nature, they have to end at some point. Otherwise they wouldn't be patches, they'd just be purple normality or something. For Red Bull, their recent advantage over Brawn GP, that saw them claw their way slowly but surely towards Jenson Button and Brawn GP in both championships, seems to be over here in Valencia. While Brawn GP look like they're back at the front, RBR are struggling.
But then maybe that's just down to the track. It's warmer here, so Brawn are using their tyres properly, and the Red Bulls were farily awful at Monaco, at the last street track we were at. But then, this place is quicker and more "normal" than Monaco, more like Montreal, so perhaps it's something more than just a track issue. Who knows, really. Certainly not me.
Either way, Button will be confident that he can beat both RBR5s to the chequered flag tomorrow, even if he might not take the win. And that's crucial for his title hopes because realistically, he probably only needs to outscore Webber and Vettel at a couple of the remaining events to secure the title, retirements notwithstanding.
So basically, the point that I'm rambling towards is: Championship over!
12.35 BST - I am definitely, 100% focused on the qualifying buildup, by the way. I am in no way watching another sport. Certainly not. No. On the BBC, Eddie Jordan just said something stupid. There you go, that sounds plausible. Now, on with the crick...erm....F1!
12.40 BST - It will be "interesting" to see how the new boys go in this session. Romain Grosjean has looked solid (and wacky) in the second Renault, without looking like he's got it in him to make Alonso break out in a hissy fit any time soon, while Luca Badoer has been comfortably slowest of anyone with a car that isn't broken in all three practice sessions, but the immensely gifted, would-have-been-a-seven-time-champ-in-the-right-car Badoer is just lulling us into a false sense of ROFLcurity.
12.45 BST - On the Beeb, Jake Humphrey is taking safety tests in order to allow him to have a bimble in a Caterham at Silverstone. He fails one, but passes the "B test". The Foot points out the slight flaw in that: "So if you fail the first one, you get an easier one to have a go at?"
Predictions? Predictions! - I'm so confident that the returning, no-longer-banned hero Alonso is going to secure a second successive pole position here, that I've taken the last £11.35 out of the Patronise F1 petty cash jar to make a wager on it occurring. If Alonso mucks his low-fuel glory run up, there'll be no KFC bargain bucket and bottle of Ice Dragon for our suppers tonight. But if he does, we'll be able to splash out on a Nando's and two bottles of Ice Dragon. Oh, to be young and rich. Meanwhile, my esteemed colleague has a different perspective. Look:
The Foot - "Clarkooo will make 200, but Australia will be all out for 203 and we'll lose the Ashes."
12.55 BST - FOUR! Erm, I mean, we're ready for Q1 here. Jonathan Legard's microphone seems to be broken. Happy days. Oh no, wicket! Erm, I mean, the session is about to get going. When will Badoer make his run for pole?
13.00 BST - Christian Horner describes Vettel's engine failure in morning practice as "fairly terminal", which is an understatement up there with saying that I am "fairly hungover".
0 mins - Bah-doh-er leads the push on a charge onto the track in Q1 then. Kimi Raikkonen and Jamie Alguersuari out right behind him. it's lunch in the cricket now, so my attention is fully on the fun of qualifying.
2 mins - Martin Brundle is highly critical of the majestic Badoer, even going so far as saying Ferrari should have given Piquet the drive instead. Piquet? Piquet? Piquet???? PIQUET??????
4 mins - Badoer sets a 1:42.957, which is immediately blown away by the F1 legends that are Sutil, Fisichella and Nakajima. This track occasionally looks a bit glamorous from certain angles, until a warehouse or a crane comes in to view.
6 mins - Oddly, Raikkonen goes slower than Badoer. The Italian will want to "print screen" that quick sharp. Nakas now goes quickest, but is pipped by Bwemmy. Algie is 4th in the second Toro Rosso. There's still a massive pile of dirt on the track from Vettel's oil fail.
8 mins - Now Kovalainen goes quickest, as Grosjean messes up the same turn he messed up this morning, namely turn *mumble*. Raikkonen sorts himself out and pips Kovalainen. Hamilton and Alonso join the fun, as Button goes 16th. Oh, and Hamilton's made a mistake on his first run, running straight on after locking a wheel.
10 mins - Button improves to 7th, and Fisichella purples sector one! Rosberg goes top of the pile, and Vettel slots into third. here comes Fisi and he goes.....2nd! This is a very odd order. Nico, Fisi, Kovy, Vettel, Kimi, Nakas, Kubica, Button is the top eight.
12 mins - Blimey. Hamilton is mon-ster-ing a lap. He goes quickest, but Barrichello has monstered a better one to pip him to P1. "The battle is joined," rambles Legard for the first time this weekend. Bottom five: Glock, Trulli, Algie, Badoer, Alonso. The Spaniard hasn't set a lap, just to explain that oddity.
14 mins - Alonso steams around on his first run, and goes 8th. Button 14th and Webber 15th, strangely. Badoer is still last. He's saving this P1 lap until the last, I assume.
16 mins - Grosjean somehow goes 4th, which leaves Webbo in the drop zone. The Foot is clenched. The track is a bit empty at the moment, while everyone prepares for their last runs. Webbo, Algie, Glock, Trulli and Badoer the bottom five. Toyota fail.
18 mins - Some sort of gremlin seems to have forced Nakas to end his session early, he's pulled over in a run-off area. He's 13th at the moment, but surely he'll drop out here. Webber is on a quicker lap, but the car doesn't look happy. Button goes fastest overall in sector one. Webber goes...5th. Button goes...4th. Kovy goes 2nd! One minute to go!
20 mins - Here we go then! Vettel improves to 8th! Buemi goes 3rd! Webber 4th! This is chaotic! Raikkonen now 3rd, Kubica 2nd!!! Timo Glock nips up to 14th, but Trulli is out! Vettel down to 13th! Fisi can't improve, neither can Algie. And that seems to be that. oh, Button went P1 right at the end, just ahead of Hamilton.
Out in Q1 - Fisichella (16th), Nakajima (17th), Trulli (18th), Alguersuari (19th), Badoer (20th).
13.22 BST - Rob Smedley tries to cheer up Badoer by saying he was 6 tenths up in the second sector on his final lap. Those six tenths would have been enough to improve his position from 20th to 20th.
The Foot - "Interesting line comparison there between Raikkonen and Badoer. Kimi was so much faster in fact, that as Badoer left the corner you could see Kimi coming up behind him on his next lap already."
0 mins - Q2 away! I was not out of the room when that happened!
4 mins - Everyone save for the two Renaults are out on track. This could be one of the closest fights for Q3 of the season so far. Pretty much all 15 drivers have a chance of making the top ten.
6 mins - Early times see Button and Barrichello top for Brawn. But then Heikki goes fastest! Webber 4th, Hamilton 5th and Raikkonen 6th. And now Vettel goes 3rd. The Red Bull still looks a handful, but have they got a better chance than we thought of a decent result here?
8 mins - Nico goes quickest! End session now plz! Ah boo, nobody listened to me, and now Hamilton goes top. Bottom five is Glock, Buemi, Sutil and the two time-less Renaults.
10 mins - Barrichello pops up to second. If we didn't have to put race fuel in to ruin everything, the pole position scrap here would be mega. Grosjean knackers in a 1:39.742 to go slowest. Alonso is now on track as well.
12 mins - Oh no! My wager is falling apart! Alonso can only go 11th, and is really up against it to make Q3. Everyone is trickling back out onto track for the chaotic final runs. Will anyone end up getting blocked around the twisty circuit?
14 mins - Webber so nearly stuffs it into the wall in the middle sector. He keeps it together but has ruined the lap, so he backs off and will have another go. Top ten currently is: Hamilton, Boobens, Kovy, Nico, Button, Webber, Vettel, Kimi, Kubby and Ickle.
15 mins - Deep breath, here we go. Webber's conked up another lap, but he will have one last run. Vettel goes P3. Barrichello quick in sector one, Kovalainen a bit quicker.Glock can't improve, he's out. Alonso still 11th! Boobens goes...P1! Alonso goes...8th! Will that be enough? Grosjean is also out. And that's the lot.
Out in Q2 - Heidfeld (11th), Sutil (12th), Glock (13th), Grosjean (14th), Buemi (15th)
And so - The two Brawns, the two McLarens, the two Red Bulls, Alonso, Kubica, Rosberg and Raikkonen will duke out Q3 after the patented pointless-massive-break-between-Q2-and-Q3.
0 mins - Here we go then. The fuel is in and the cars are out.
3 mins - Kubica sets the first time, from Kovalainen, and Rosberg goes P1.
5 mins - And Hamilton goes P1 with a cracking 1:39.498! Got fuel? Button makes it a Brit 1-2, giving James Allen an embolism, wherever he is. Raikkonen P3, Alonso P4. Vettel, Webber and Barrichello are yet to set times, they're just doing a single run and saving some soft tyres for the race.
7 mins - Hamilton stays out, which is an odd decision, because now he's struggling to make it back and get new rubber before the end of the session. Final runs coming up...
8 mins - Hamilton does get in a pit stop, and he'll just about get in one more lap.
9 mins - Barrichello's first lap sees him goes P2, Webber goes 4th. Kovy goes 2nd, Nico 5th. They'll all get one more lap, as will Vettel, Raikkonen and Alonso. This is going to be hectic.
10 mins - Button can't improve, he stays 5th. Kovalainen on a mighty lap, and HE MESSES UP THE LAST CORNER, oh Heikki, that was pole. Everyone else pits. Raikkonen goes 6th. Hamilton is the only one on a flying lap, and he's on pole anyway. Ha ha, and he just abandons the lap and pits, because everyone gave up. That was not hectic.
Top ten - Hamilton, Kovalainen, Barrichello, Vettel, Button, Raikkonen, Rosberg, Alonso, Webber, Kubica.
So then - The Alonso bet didn't come off. We'll be going hungry tonight. An all-McLaren front row for the European GP though, which probably would have had fantastic odds from most bookies a couple of months ago. And as for Red Bull, they've got a reasonable result with Vettel ahead of Button, but Webber is well out of position.
Heikki - Won't want to watch the replays of that last corner too often. He made such a mess of a lap that would have had a chance of wresting the pole from Hamilton, in what is theoretically the slower version of the McLaren. It was the equivalent of running a world record pace in a marathon only to trip over your own shoelaces 30 metres from the finishing line.
James Allen gets to interview Hamilton in the PC! - And Hamilton says "Fantastic achievement....to come here not really knowing if we could have good pace....Heikki did fantastic job....great to see us both there....we've been wanting a 1-2 qualifying for a long long time."
Epilogue - And that's that. A slightly anti-climactic end to Q3, what with everyone just pitting, but never mind. Hamilton will be looking to take back-to-back wins in the race tomorrow, and you have to say that with KERS off the line and his team mate there to protect him from the meanies behind them on the grid, it should be a fairly easy waltz to the flag as well. But will that happen? Join The Foot tomorrow to find out. For now, I'm off to watch some of that pesky cricket. Cheerio.
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