Prologue - Writing an intro to a Grand Prix (an actual one, not some A1 rubbish) where I had to explain to our eager audience just what in the ruddy hell a Force India was doing on pole was on my list of Things I Won't Be Doing In 2009. But like the chap that picks the Ferrari reserve drivers I'd made a huge tiny mistake as Giancarlo Fisichella went and surprised us all yesterday afternoon by putting his melty green-orange car on pole for todays Belgian GP. So welcome to what promises to be a completely mental race.
12.35 BST - The track was actually dry throughout yesterdays qualifying, and Fisi had more fuel onboard than the last race winner. It was a pole earnt, not gifted and had more than a few people around the world mumbling "Holy cow!". Giancarlo rated it as his finest ever qualifying, everything went his way as he found a gap in the traffic in each session. But it wasn't a lap out of nowhere, both Force Indias were quick all weekend, and Fisi isn't out of the question for a win here, which is somewhat incredible seeing as their time in F1 so far has been pointless. On the scoreboard and elsewhere.
12.40 BST - Behind him he has a chap who tends to like to nap after the first stops, and some other guy I can find no information on. Barrichello is nicely placed in fourth spot, but he's got as little fuel as he has hair on his head.
12.45 BST - The Red Bulls may pose a threat if Fisi can't break away from the pack (the front bit this time). Their long run pace is impressive, but down in eigth and ninth they'll have to make really strong starts to get in the game.
12.50 BST - While Fisi shone, Buttons form was as mediocre as his cars livery. He's down in 14th, the best way I can descibe how bad this performance was is this way; He's closer to Badoer than Sutil is. Eep.
The Elbow - "I go away for a couple of days and the world goes mad. I still think Nando can win though."
The Head - "Luca Badoer to take a triumphant victory, I reckon. What? You said it would be a mental race."
A race with Luca winning wouldn't be mental, thats off the mental chart I'm afraid, it'd be up there in the EJ zone. We're about 5 mins or so from the formation lap.
Race
Formation Lap - Fisichella moves off from the grid. AND THERES STILL 19 CARS TO MOVE AFTER HIM ZOMGWTF!?!
Fisi keeps the pack slow so Luca doesn't get left behind. Arf.
Lap 1 - The lights come on one by one, then when they get to five theres a pause and they're off like Steve Harmisons aim! Brum bruuum down to T1 it's Boobens who hardly moves, no idea where he is, Fisichella leads from Heidfeld while Raikkon is charing up and past him so he's 2nd. Oh a big accident, Grosjean, Algie and hamilton have hit the wall. We've got a SC!!!
Button is involved, he's out of the race! Barrichello, Trulli and Sutil are in the pits. It looks like Grosjean hit Button, who spun and put himself, Algie, Romain and Ham into the wall.
Lap 2 - So, that was fun, the order is Fisi, Kimi, Kubby, Glocky, Webby, some black hole thing, Nico, Sebvet and Ferny.
Lap 3 - Badoer has the fastest lap. The Head is mashing print screen.
Red Bull need to score big here, and they're fighting for it, as Sebvet is asking to have Nico shoved out of the way for passing under yellows. The Head is back to sad.
Lap 4 - Brundle says he's too old and too slow for the Ferrari seat. That didn't stop them putting Badoer in there. Chortle chortle.
Safety car will be in at the end of this lap. Rubens gets some instruction to take some candy from a baby, errr, I mean, pass Luca.
Lap 5 - They're racing, Kimi could get him out of Eau Rouge here, watch this. BLOCK HIM FISI! Nawww, Kimi passes him so easily. Boo. Vettel passes Nico.
Lap 6 - Well, so much for an interesting race. Barrichello has his candy. It's a caramel. Vettel is challenging Heidfeld, while Glock appears to be holding up Webber.
Lap 7 - Barrichello is now up to 12th at the expense of Nakas who forgets to defend.
Lap 9 - I'm at an ad break, I understand Trulli is having some issues passing Badoer. I can't compute that. Sutil passes Nakas now. Romain is back in the pitlane, off to do some banking I'm sure.
Lap 11 - Kimi really has this wrapped up, Webber is 8 seconds behind already, while Sebvet is 12.7 back.
Lap 12 - Things are getting nice and spread out now, someone whos pace is quite handy is Nick Heidfeld, I don't think I've mentioned him in this terry but he's actually looking very nice and is cruising onto the back of Glock and Webbo.
Lap 13 - Kubby and Glocky pit, Webbo will like that I'm sure, he's 8.7 behind Raikkonen, the next couple of laps will show if we've got a Grand Prix or not.
Lap 14 - Webbo sets the fastest lap of the race, but then Heidfeld beats it. Fisichella is right on Kimi. Fisi actually had less fuel onboard than Kubby and Glocky, that Merc isn't too thirsty. Glocky had a problem at his first stop, had to use the backup rig. Fail.
Kimi pits. Fisi pits. Wow. Webber pits, wtf. Heidfeld pits. So much for all of these fuel loads.
Lap 15 - Webber gets released in front of Heidfeld, and that'll be a penalty, then Heidfeld powers past him along the straight anyways. It's all going downhill for Webber here.
Lap 16 - Webber seems to have no straightline speed here. Sutil is having a look, Mark doesn't let him through but his sector times are horrible. Webber gets a drive through. Ruddy hell. Well, Button will love that.
Lap 21 - Right, sorry about that, technical troubles at Pattys Adelaide HQ. Ahhh, Kimi still leads, then Fisi, Alonso, Kubica, Kovalainen, Buemi, Vettel, Heidfeld, Barrichello and Sut.
Lap 22 - Luca has set purple in S1 for the last two races. Fisichella is 1.2 behind Raikkonen and Ferrari think he's going longer.
Lap 24 - Fisichella is in the box seat here, they seem to have really good fuel economy. Brundle points out that Kimi is pushing while Fisi is leaving a lot of the track near the edge untouched. It is quite amazing, this is just silly.
Lap 25 - Alonso has pitted, a problem with the left front, he was on a two stop strategy, they should put more fuel in now, he's just sitting there while they try and get the spinner on. That was a looong time. Another one out of the way for Webbo!
Lap 26 - The Renault of Alonso is coasting, something wrong with the left front. Shouldn't they be parking it? Lesson not learnt I guess?
Lap 27 - Heikki comes out of the pits and Buemi has a go at him, can he pass him? Noooo, he can't.
Lap 28 - Boobens comes out of the pits and Nakas may have a go at him, can he pass him? Noooo, he can't...even try...
Lap 30 - Fisi is easily hanging on to Kimi, he can totally win this. Kubica is another couple of seconds back but dropping off slightly. Vettel is inching up, but he's 11 seconds behind the leaders. Possibly with more fuel though. Kubby pits from third.
Lap 32 - Kimi and Fisi pit together, it's a battle for the win right here. Ferraris pitstop is pretty good, what can Findia do, not enough. Status quo remains.
Lap 33 - Heidfeld pits, so he had less fuel put in when he and Mark pitted, RBR suck. Interestingly, they'll have a good pitbox location next season so that should be the end of that.
Lap 34 - Nico pits from 6th. Webber has been told to stay off the kerbs through Eau Rouge, not sure why unless the team are picking up bad vibrations.
Lap 35 - Sebvet pits now, he'll come out around the beamers but hard to say where. Just ahead of them, that was very difficult to say.
Lap 36 - Webbo looks like he'll get 9th for the second race in a row, I hate that place more than Agent Smith hates the Matrix.
Lap 38 - Sebvet is closing right in on the leading pair with seven laps to go, though, when they do line up, they'll basically be in order of reverse straight line speed. So, no passing then.
Lap 39 - Sut is trying to pass Glocky for 10th. HOLD ON GLOCKY!!
Lap 41 - Not much going on, theres a few close battles but no one can pass. The top ten is Kimi, Fisi, Sebvet, Kubby, Ickle, Heikki, Boobens, Nico, Webbo, Glocky.
Lap 42 - Boobens has a smokey engine. Come on, blow up, Webbo needs the pointy. He looks to be falling back, woot woot woot. Good for RBR if he blows up.
Lap 43 - Some drama at last, theres a lot of smoke coming out and Nico is closing in, but Boobens' straight line speed seems fine so he should hold in, if it can keep going.
Lap 44 - Kimi is halfway round his last lap, Fisi is pushing him all the way but he won't find a way past. Kimi Raikkonen wins the 2009 Belgian GP and is followed home amazingly by the Force India of Giancarlo Fisichella!! The Findia team are mighty pleased.
Sebvet takes 3rd, then the two Bimmers, while Heikki gets 6th. Boobens limps home in 7th with Nico right up his smokey tailpipe. Webber comes home 9th, totally not fair. Glock rounds up the top 10, while Luca came home last.
Well, that didn't quite turn out to be the interesting race I was hoping for. I've got ads and talking heads at the moment, so I can't really say whats going on. Kimi looks his usual self on the podium, Fisi is very pleased as you'd expect, while Vettel seems happy to be up there as well.
The Head - "Fairly good race I thought, though that may just be the hangover from Valencia clouding my judgement. KERS sucks."
Kimi - Decribed that it was "hrrmmmm nrrn frrrr". Indeed.
Fisi - "It's a great day...I was quicker than Kimi...we could've won the race"
Sebvet - "We got more points than the rest, other than those two today". He totally understands the scoring system.
So, that ends that. Monza is next, and it seems like Fisichella will be moving to Ferrari for that one, which should be interesting. While thats happening, Liuzzi might be hopping into the vacant Findia seat which will be cool to see. It should be a total KERSfest which will annoy EJ a lot, and the rest of us a little. But either way, we'll be here to cover the important bits, so join us then! Cya!
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