Prologue - Tally ho a new terry at 5 o'clock! Welcome everyone to Patty F1's almost live and nearly useful text terry of FP3 for the Bahrain GP. This should be a fun little session, it'll go on for 60 minutes or so and should be chock full of action and drama. Argh! Why is my nose growing?!17.05 CAST - *ahem* Yes, so, to the F1. Lewis Hamilton topped FP1 yesterday, before normality was restored in FP2 where Nico Rosberg, undisputed overlord of F1 Practice, took over to top the times again. He'll be eager to convert his pace into some points this weekend, The Head probably can't take another Sunday arvo flop from the Williams star.
17.10 CAST - Elsewhere, Ferraris well documented woes will hopefully come to an end this weekend. Ideally I'd like to see Raikkonen get 8th and Massa 13th. We'll see how that goes. Hei to all our readers from Finland, I know you're out there!
17.15 CAST - The Head should be here to keep me company soon, hopefully you'll be able to bask in the glory of his expert comments later on. Theres not a lot of news coming in from Bahrain overnight, lots of talk about grip and sand and tyres and all the usual, we really need someone to steal a front wing from Brawn and then lie about it. Come on Force India, lift your game, you can't rely on McLaren to create all the fun.
17.20 CAST - If you're wondering what my tip is for today, well I think Brawn will still be fastest, with Trulli then the RBRs next, followed by Rosberg, Glock, Alonso, Massa and Hamilton. Fuel loads will break all that ofcourse, but thats my Q3 gaggle prediction anyways. If you have a house, bet it now.
17.25 CAST - We've just had a text come in from Bob in Manchester, he asks "What is a race track?" The moaning you can just hear in the background is Anthony Davidson sobbing gently in the corner of our office here. We're about 5 minutes from the start of the session.
FP3
0 mins - We're away, half the pack is on track at the moment, getting those first installation laps done.
3 mins - Not much happening, everyones just hopping straight back into the pitlane. I have no stream, kinda sucks.
8 mins - Ooh a thermal image of Vettel in the garage. He has a very cold head. No ones on track at the moment.
11 mins - I'm watching a Spanish stream I think. Unless theres another language that has 'Alonso' as every third word. ACTION STATIONS! Massa on track.
15 mins - He. Does. A. Lap. This is excitement overload. I've muted the Iberians, listening to some music now. Sevendust for those of you that were wondering. Kimi and the Yodas join current P1 man Massa on the circuit.
18 mins - It seems to take a while for the medium compound tyres to come up to temperature, which is bonkers. We're not going to have higher track temps than this all year (we're pushing 50 degrees c), when exactly are they going to use the hards without taking 17 laps to get them up to temp this year? Kimi is fastest from Timo, the Trulli then Felipe baby.
22 mins - Nico is out there and lapping quickly, he's got a practice championship lead to protect here and has to get some early bankers in. He's currently second from Timo. Sebvet has set a time, he goes 6th after his first lap. Massa is 7th and last of the people who have set times.
24 mins - Speaking of Vettel, in an interview with Ant Davidson last night Mark Webber described him as the most complete teammate he's had by far. Take that Heidfeld, Rosberg and Coulthard. Bit harsh on Yoong though I think. As for his character, Mark said Seb was a bit of a dweeb.
I may have made that last bit up. Fuji '07 still hurts.
27 mins - The Sut pruples S1...but then mungs up S2. Vettel goes 3rd with a tidy lap before outbarking himself into T1, a wry smile from Horner on the pitwall. Hamilton is currently 2nd and setting purple sector times. Boo.
29 mins - Woof. That was a bitch of a typo that.
30 mins - Halfway through the session, the order is Glock, Hamilton, Vettel, Rosberg, Button, Buemi, Fisichella, Raikkonen, Nakajima, Sutil. Oh, or not. Sutil breaks everything by going ahead of Nakajima. Have a heart man! I'm not changing it so there. Now Heikki goes 4th, ragh.
35 mins - Lolonso is last, speaking of lulz, Lola are sniffing around F1 at the moment, perhaps looking at joining next year or in 2011 if a budget cap rule goes through. Pattys more anoraky readers will recall Lolas last F1 venture, then spend a few minutes chortling. Hamilton has gone fastest and so far the only fellow to go into the 33s. Abliet by one one thousandth of a second.
37 mins - I must admit, I haven't really been paying attention here, but I think everyones only used the harder of the two tyres so far. Fernando and Heikki are the only chaps on the track at the moment, everyone else is in the garage chewing the fat with their engineers. I can say that now that JPM is gone, and no one will take me literally.
41 mins - Raikkonens adjusted his springs and tweaked his pressures, and has gone 2nd fastest on the harder tyre. Timo forgot to turn at what I think is T10, while Heidfeld locked up and nearly followed him into the boonies. No harm done to either. Got some nice Webber onboard now, he's not looking too good on track here at the moment, I'm sorry to say. Marks 17th.
44 mins - Hamilton chucks on a set of softies and goes purpler than a priest in lent, or with a little boy. Woah, he sets a 32 and Martin Whitmarsh appears to be smiling on the pitwall. Thats not a good sign. McLaren are the first team to enter the 32s this weekend then, not cool. I want bonkers F1 back! Massa goes P2 now and Raikkonen is P3. THIS SUCKS!
46 mins - Bourdais is out of the car, clearly satisfied with his 18th position. From what the commentators are saying ("No soy el dueño de este burro, lo rente" ?) he has a problem with his donkey.
49 mins - Heidfelds team radio was on, by the time I muted my music and got the sound back up on the stream all I heard was Ickle saying "it was impossible to know". I love it when I'm helpful. I'd guess they were asking him if he'd be 6 or 7 places behind Kubica in qually today.
52 mins - 8 mins to go. As you probably gathered by the time stamp on this update.
53 mins - TIMO! Patty mascot Timo Glock goes P1 with a softie time almost 4 tenths quicker than Hamilton. Yay 2009! Alonso is still last.
54 mins - We just had a line comparison between Hamilton and Massa. The ghost of Hamilton won. Kinda pointless though I think, as they appeared to be on different tyres. But whatever, yay for pointless technology!
56 mins - Green sectors everywhere at the moment, as everyone hops on track with softies for a last minute quick lap before qualifying this afternoon. WE HAVE A YELLOW FLAG! Oh noes, it's Glock, some sort of mechanical problem. He parks in front of an access point and helps to push the car out of the way, bless him.
57 mins - Looked like an engine problem. Nico is setting purple sectors, he's been fastest in FP3 each race this year. He comes over the line, in second! 3 tenths down on Timo.
59 mins - Lots of green sectors still, though no purple, it looks like Glocky will top this session, even if he won't finish it.
60 mins - Session is over, I'll just let everyone finish their laps before I start putting them in any sort of order. Nico is greening again, he wants the 10 points!
Epilogue - So, Glock tops the session despite his mechanical drama, his car is currently on a truck on the way back to the pits. The rest of the top 10 was Massa, Rosberg, Hamilton, Raikkonen, Piquet, Kubica, Nakajima, Trulli and Heidfeld.
Red Bull and Brawn GP, tomorrows favourites struggled here, with Vettel and Webber in 11th and 18th, and Button and Barrichello in 15th and 16th. Though, Webber was only 1.1 seconds off Glocks fastest time. Everyone set soft tyred laps there at the end, but who knows what teams were doing Q2 and Q3 laps, the fuel loads could easily account for the odd order here.
Anyways, we'll find out soon enough. The Head, if he wakes up in time, should be here to cover Qually in two hours time. Join us then. Bye.
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