No need for long and fancy introductions this time and why should I feverishly type one when half the teams I’m about to review can’t even be bothered to write a proper website?
2010 sees the introduction of at least four new teams, with the only pre-requisite being that you have no track record whatsoever of doing anything in motorsport and that you are not a successful man with a beard. So, let’s look in alphabetical order at the teams and personnel eager to enter the 2010 piranha club.
Campos-Meta1
Who and what's behind it: This team was one of the surprise entries ahead of Lola and Prodrive who many expected to waltz into next year’s pitlane but for Max throwing his toys out of the sex dungeon pram and instead accepting F1 reject Adrian Campos’ team entry instead.
A glittering F1 career ended for Campos with no points to his name, though his move into running his own team yielded more success, though those at the back will snipe that it couldn’t have gone much worse, could it? His GP2 team won the 2008 team title before being sold to and renamed to the strangest team name in the history of racing and he obviously used the funds from this as a deposit for his F1 team dream.
The “Meta1” element of Campos-Meta1 is apparently a Spanish sports agency, though I expect their attempts to name-rights-bandwagon their way into F1 won’t work as everyone will just drop their tag when referencing Campos qualifying positions of last and dead last. They will be powered by Cosworth engines like everyone else here, because Max said so.
What's going for them: They’ll be based in Spain which will make the slug back from each European event after 2 blown engines and 25th and 26th in qualifying pass faster than the USF1 crew. Despite being pants behind the wheel, Adrian Campos has got a track record of building a team from scratch into a reasonably successful outfit, hell, he even got a girl onto the podium last year. Dallara will also build the Campos cars and they have plenty of experience in manufacturing successful cars as shown by their dominance of F3 down the years.
What's not going for them: I’m going to do a 180 on what I just said and say Dallara and not because of how crap – pretty, but still crap - they were in the early 1990s. How many of the top teams outsource their car manufacturing? Do McLaren design their cars on the back of a fag packet before sending it down to “Dave’s Motors” down some dodgy back street in Woking to be cobbled together? Logistical nightmare alarm bells are going off already as Campos try to break convention for no good reason at all apart from being tight.
The tight financial situation is also a pain to Campos – they entered on the understanding there’d be a €45m (or whatever the number was the flavour of that week) p/a budget cap, which was eventually scrapped because the likes of McLaren didn’t really want to fire 98% of its staff and Ferrari quite liked having a circuit knocking about in their backyard. How they will compete with rivals with bottomless pockets remains to be seen, but can probably be described as terribly.
Potential drivers: Bruno Senna, Lucas di Grassi, Giorgio Pantano, Vitaly Petrov, Marc Gene (groan), Pedro de la Rosa (epic groan)
Do they have a prayer of making it to Bahrain: 5/10. Rumours abound that the outfit are struggling for cash and unlike USF1, there’s been no photographic evidence whatsoever that Campos have made anything tangible as yet. Then again the same was said of Brawn earlier this year before they came out and pummelled the grid, so we’ll reserve judgement there. Apparently Bruno Senna has already signed for the team which will be good for marketing reasons if nothing else given he is NOT Ayrton. It seems there’s Spanish pressure though for a Spaniard to join Senna, so expect Gene to be overlooked again this year in favour of Pedro de la Rosa. Such lack of ambition almost deserves last in every race. Do not be surprised if they don’t turn up at Bahrain because Pedro was driving the team trucks and they arrived too late.
Lotus (1Malaysia F1 Team)
Who and what's behind it: One of the more confusing entrants to the grid – they’ve called themselves Lotus, they’ve based themselves in Norfolk a few miles from Lotus HQ and yet it’s apparently a Malaysian effort. The CEO is Malaysian Tony Fernandes who has no motorsport background whatsoever and has taken the amusing step of already telling anyone bothered to listen that he’s going to step down ASAP. Throw in that they’re only there because BMW ran out of money and you can see how Lotus is a circus before a wheel is even turned in anger. Their technical management will be led however by Mike Gascoyne, he of flying to Cologne every day whilst at Toyota fame.
What's going for them: Their only crumb of credibility comes from Gascoyne attaching his name to the project as everything else appears to be a total joke. Gascoyne has experience from Jordan, Sauber and Tyrrell giving him good experience in building cars on a budget. And that concludes that section.
What's not going for them: Credibility. There’s none of it. The team is seemingly not endorsed by Lotus Group cars or Team Lotus, but instead by anonymous Far East investors sponging off Chapman’s name of old.
Potential drivers: Jarno Trulli, Fairuz Fuazy, Alex Yoong and anyone with an Asian passport
Do they have a prayer of making it to Bahrain: 6/10. As pathetic as the use of the Lotus name is, Gascoyne being attached to the project will probably ensure some form of car arrives at round one next year, even if it is a Lolaesque. Tony Fernandes is also a sort of Malaysian Richard Branson, so commercially it should do fine for the first season at least, though with a car that looks like this, I’ll leave you to decide how Lotus will fare. Copyright credit goes to whoever’s messy garage the picture was taken in and probably some credit should also go to Force India and Toyota as this car looks like a poor man’s version of their 2009 cars. Now, now, let’s not assume anything synonymous with Coughlan/Stepney given Gascoyne’s last two teams of employment ...
Manor
Who and what's behind it: This was the shocker of all shockers when it was announced as an entry for next year. Particularly since nobody even knew they’d put an entry in, but it seems Nick Wirth’s pallyness with now ex-FIA President Max Mosley wasn’t the worst relationship in the world to have around application tendering time. Basically, Manor Grand Prix is a combination of John Booth’s reasonably successful Manor Motorsport team and Nick Wirth’s not in any way pretentiously named Wirth Research.
What's going for them: I really have no idea what is going for them. Manor’s last major title win was the 2000 British F3 series, though they have shown an ability to nurture young talent with both Kimi Raikkonen and Lewis Hamilton sat in one of John Booth’s cars over the years. Nick Wirth has enjoyed a successful spell with Acura in their ALMS campaign, winning the 2009 ALMS title with Highcroft Racing, albeit in the absence of any factory Audis. Virgin Group are pretty much accepted by every man and his dog to be sponsoring the team next year, so expect quirky marketing campaigns, Branson getting his grin everywhere and puns aplenty every time Virgin Manor (sounds like every man’s ideal stately home doesn’t it?) does something for the first time.
What's not going for them: On the flipside, Nick Wirth was responsible for that team we all loved to vociferously lol at, Simtek, which was famous for being one of many crap efforts in the mid 90s alongside your Pacifics and Fortis. Coupled with how John Booth and Manor are struggling in the Euro F3 Series and you begin to wonder how they’re expecting to be in any way competitive in Formula 1. The team being based in glamorous Sheffield doesn’t exactly fit with your usual Northampton/M40 corridor approach either.
Potential drivers: Anyone ridiculously young and cheap. 7 year old Max Chilton was considered before he decided to complete primary school and a season of GP2 instead. Expect any one of the following and more depending on their cash flow situation: Anthony Davidson, Adam Carroll, Lucas di Grassi, Roberto Mehri, Bertrand Baguette and Paul di Resta.
Do they have a prayer of making it to Bahrain: 8/10. They should make it to the grid given Manor’s wealth of race experience, Virgin’s financial involvement and Wirth’s obvious aerodynamic talents, but whether they’ll be any good is a completely different matter. Booth’s fondness for youthful talent may lead to a surprise couple of drives if the equipment is provided in a half decent manner. Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.
Qadbak
Who and what's behind it: Nobody actually knows, not even The Football League. After BMW decided to pull out of F1, they were surprisingly quickly snapped up by a Far East investment group I’m not quite sure how to pronounce – I’m guessing “Cad-Back,” but I’ll wait until Legard has a stab at it next year then go with the opposite pronunciation. There’s not much I can say here as nobody really knows what’s going on or their intentions for next year, assuming there’s even room for them on the grid.
What's going for them: They already have a team and infrastructure in the form of the ashes from the BMW fire to work on and an excellent facility in Hinwil that rivals many of the top teams. Furthermore, work on a 2010 car will have already begun, the team has picked up from their mid season rubbish form and Brawn has shown you can dump a new engine into a car late on and still be pretty decent. They will have to change engine supplier from BMW for obvious reasons, but the Cosworth unit is unlikely to be as crap as first thought meaning a switch to a Cossie DFV with a bit of spit and polish may not be the end of the world.
What's not going for them: They’re not going to make it to the grid at the moment as there are only 13 slots available and fractions of FOTA refuse to massage this figure up to 14 for both logistical (e.g. Monaco pits) and financial (e.g. “Stop taking more of my pie you greedy ****”) reasons. For whatever reason, BMW didn’t sign the Concorde Agreement when it was pushed in front of them and now Qadbak are paying the ultimate price.
Potential drivers: This probably hasn’t even been considered yet due to the ongoing turmoil within the team, but it could be pretty much anyone in motorsport. If one of the other teams in this article crash out, they probably won’t do so until well into the New Year, meaning Qadbak will struggle to find any talented drivers who’ve not already inked a deal for 2010. Don’t be surprised if two journeymen drivers take a risk and think “oh sod it, let’s give this F1 thing a stab,” at the death. Jamie Green and Gary Paffett super team anyone?
Do they have a prayer of making it to Bahrain: Either 0/10 or 10/10. FOTA don’t look like accommodating them so it appears Qadbak will have to rely on one of the new teams falling by the way side.
USF1
Who and what's behind it: A lot of hot air Ken Anderson and Peter Windsor. USF1 announced they were to enter F1 2010 in a blaze of publicity even Max Clifford would’ve been proud of, as nauseating and all round sycophantic Brit Windsor told the world how America was great and was going to kick the whole motorsport establishment’s face off. Or something.
What's going for them: Unlike Campos and I believe Manor, USF1 were always going to enter F1 regardless of a budget cap and so haven’t been affected by the FIA completely caving in this area. Further, they have one of the YouTube founders as an investment partner (translated: bored millionaire with nothing to do at far too young an age) who may be able to pass on knowledge to them of how to build and develop a business that’s difficult to monetise and loses millions of dollars a day. In all seriousness, Ken Anderson is a smart chap and USF1 have access to a wealth of facilities in the US. They’ve also not been an idiot like Michael Andretti was in 1993 and tried to do everything from the US and commute to the races, with the news on October 30th 2009 to the surprise of precisely nobody that they will have a European base in Spain.
What's not going for them: In short, their PR. After the stupidly glitzy chat show intro that promised the world, USF1 have set themselves up for a fall ever since. Whilst Manor got on with things so quietly nobody even knew they’d applied, Windsor has been sticking his gob into any bit of press material that can take his small country sized ego. Whilst this was great at first, eventually people became suspicious about whether any of this was actually deliverable given neither Windsor nor Anderson are direct descendants of God. In Singapore, Bernie thought it’d be funny to tell the world he expects USF1 to fall on its face, much to Windsor’s annoyance. Then followed rumours that floated around so viciously of no facilities even existed in USF1’s name that the FIA felt compelled to go over and have a look for themselves. In the end, machines and people did actually exist, but it can’t have done USF1’s image any good in a time when they’re probably doing their best to acquire sponsorship.
Potential drivers: Anyone with a pulse. USF1 has been linked with the female of the species, a guy who can’t turn right and a chap who can’t dress himself properly. In time USF1 may get their dream of an all American driver line-up, but it surely won’t happen for 2010. American Jonathan Summerton may take one of the slots next year, though who partners him is anyone’s guess. If you believe the rumours it could be this Renault Driver Development reject. You’ve got to admire their recruitment ambition though.
Do they have a prayer of making it to Bahrain: 8/10. If you’d asked me a few months ago I’d have said probably not at all, but with confirmation of payments through to Cosworth, Chad Hurley’s continued involvement and now proof of their facilities, it looks like USF1 may actually happen. That’s not to say however that they will be any good.
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