Lollipop, Lollipop, ooh lo-lo-lollipop
In a story rather bafflingly headlined "Ferrari to get off their high horse?" on the front page of Planet Hamilton, Ferrari have announced that they will be doing away with their dubious pit stop traffic light system for the rest of the year, in favour of bringing back the flawless, "this has never been to blame for cocking up a pit stop" lollipop system. "In an acknowledgement that all is not quite as it should be just now, the team has decided to go back to the lollipop for the three remaining races of this season," guffed a particularly boring article in The Times just recently. But fans of the cool system need not fear, as 'they will again switch back to automated system when the 2009 season gets underway in Australia, and they also claim several other teams could follow their example". Hurrah!
Silly Season Continues to Shock
Another barnstorming bit of driver shuffling sees BMW Sauber confirm that their line up for 2009 will be absolutely identical to this season. After flirting with Fernando Alonso for a bit, Nick Heidfeld has successfully cockblocked the Spaniard from his seat and will remain at the team alongside Robert Kubica, with Christian Klien fulfilling test driving duties again. "We see Nick and Robert as a strong driver pairing and Christian as an experienced test driver," Mario Theissen parped down a microphone regarding the announcement, @We are in no doubt that we will again achieve our ambitious aims with them in the team's fourth year". Which might be something like "Win two races" or something. The confirmation leaves Renault, Honda and Toro Rosso as the only teams yet to confirm their line ups. Which one will Alonso pick? Stay tuned, folks!
Ringmaster angered at circus jibes
Bernie has hit back over Luca di Montezemolo's moan that F1 is turning into a circus, which is clearly a fabrication. For a start, decent seats at the circus are normally quite affordable. "If the Ferrari president is right about the Singapore Grand Prix being a circus, then we have to be grateful to him for providing the clowns," Ecclestone narfed at the Mail on Sunday this weekend, taking time out from his busy schedule to mock Ferrari's ineptitude. He continued on, saying "After the weekend Ferrari had, their president should have shut up and kept his head down....He would have destroyed everybody in Singapore if he had kept going". Though whether he's talking about Massa or Luca in that last bit is sadly unclear, as News Junkie has butchered the quote.
"Actually, they're quote good aren't they"
In a move not at all influenced by Toro Rosso clinching their first GP win in Monza, Red Bull boss man and owner of a name NJ couldn't hope to spell right were it not for the copy and paste function, Dietrich Mateschitz, has decided to reconsider his initial announcement that he was selling up the team. With the 2010 regulations still up in the air and swanning about like a rudderless cloud, Mateschitz remarked recently that "It is possible that we leave everything as it is," adding that "It [the new regulations] will show us whether we have an interested buyer, and it could also be that we no longer want to sell". Once again, News Junkie would like to confirm that this has nothing to do with Vettel winning the Italian Grand Prix.
Yet more feeder series
What do you mean there's too many feeder series for the career ladder to still be sustainable? Two F1 rounds next year will be supported by Formula Master, a sort of low-rent Aldi version of Formula 3, which we're sure will be absolutely brilliant and certainly won't look stupefyingly slow around Spa-Francorchamps. Meanwhile, to confuse things even further, Mad Bernie is planning to launch a "GP3" series in 2010, which would be a, erm, sort of low-rent Aldi version of Formula 3. "The engine will be a 2 litres with 250 HP. The chassis will incorporate the latest single seater design features," according to Pitpass, while Bernie noted that "I believe this GP3 Series will be an opportunity for drivers, engineers and mechanics who are making their way to Formula One". And with a straight face as well.
This. Is. Important. Honest.
ING are holding another hugely important, certain to be acted on F1 Fan Survey, when everyone can moan and respond in non sequiturs like "I want more overtaking" but "I don't want more artificial rules" and "I don't want more standardised parts". NJ would like to give you a full run down of the worst of the questions, but controversially, the survey crashed The Head's browser when he was answering the question "Which of the following best describes your support of a driver or team?" with the answer "I always support my favourite driver even if he changes teams". Is our esteemed leader about to be outed as a fair weather Nico fan?
Hallelujah, It's Raining, Man
And finally, on the subject of Rosberg, he reckons Williams need another downpour in Fuji in order to add to their meagre points total for the season. "Fuji Speedway might not be the best circuit for our car but weather could play a big part in the proceedings this weekend...If that happens, we'll have a good chance of a strong finish as our car goes well in the wet". The noise you can hear is The Head practicing his rain dance.
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