Hamilton Unappealing, a while ago
In the most predictable courtroom outcome since a friend ruined the end of A Few Good Men for News Junkie, Lewis Hamilton and McLaren have had their appeal against the 25 second penalty handed out at Spa ruled inadmissible. "Article 152 of the International Sporting Code states that drive-through penalties are 'not susceptible to appeal'," an incredibly interesting FIA statement read, "Having heard the explanations of the parties, the court has concluded that the appeal is inadmissible". The verdict not only prevented some silly backtracking from the FIA on the penalty, but also stopped any potential for the judges to decide to up the penalty to punish McLaren for wasting everyone's time. Nevertheless, Martin Whitmarsh was unimpressed with the verdict being passed over in favour of a dismissal. "We are naturally disappointed with today's verdict, and to have received no ruling on the substance of our appeal," he moped. Ah well, all's well that ends well. Incidentally, we know this happened ages ago, but we thought we'd better mention it anyway.
Pitpass Jump The Gun
In an EXCLUSIVE piece of reporting, Pitpass proudly trumpet that that much-awaited BBC F1 presenting team has been put together already, still some six months before the Beeb begin life as the default F1 commentary team. "According to our sources, the main team will consist of [Martin] Brundle, [David] Coulthard, Jonathan Legard, Lee McKenzie...and Jake Humphrey", the site announces, with the boyish Humphrey set to present alongside Coulthard, Legard and Brundle to pair up in the commentary box, and McKenzie to fluff around in the pits interviewing grumpy drivers after they retire. The only problem with all this (aside from Brundo and DC being in the wrong roles and there being no obvious Kravitz-ian pit stop bod), is that nobody seems to have told them that they've got the jobs. Brundle reacted to the news by simply saying that "Nothing is signed yet. I am hopeful that I can move to the BBC and continue my current role, and we are still in discussions". EXCLUSIVE news indeed, but then such things are easier to come by when you just, you know, make it up.
Ferrari to get a red light?
As the Ferrari team plan a full inquest into their fancy new traffic light system after the whole swanky thing was again blamed for yet another pit stop mess-up in Singapore, the possibility remains that the FIA may pre-empt any action they take by banning the whole system anyway. "The FIA [are] reportedly set to ban it [the traffic lights] on safety grounds if they doesn't find a solution," "reports" Planet Hamilton, presumably forcing Ferrari to return to the old, mistake-free technique of having some bloke stand in front of the pit stop with a lollipop. Yes, that system has never failed in the past. Not at all. Stefano Domenicali conceded a mistake had been made, but rightly pointed out that a lollipop probably wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference. "When you see a green light to go, that means that you have to go. It doesn't matter. The green was on because he had to go. If we didn't have the traffic light, we would have had the lollipop up. In that respect it didn't change the specific scenario that we have today," he said, possibly while waiting at some traffic lights.
Rossi wants back in
News Junkie passes it's congratulations on to Valentino Rossi, who wrapped up his sixth MotoGP title at the weekend with some aplomb. And what prize does the Italian want to celebrate his latest success? Another Ferrari test, of course! "I'd like to drive a Ferrari again. Not a road car, but the F1 one," Rossi said after being asked about a reward for his win, before clarifying that "it would be a simple desire, with no future in it". Fair play to the guy. Incidentally, as a reward for News Junkie successfully getting to work every day last week without a hangover, it would like a test drive in a Ferrari as well. No pressure or anything, but NJ awaits your call.
Night Racing Everywhere
With the success of the Singapore night race spectacle now assured, Bernie can sense the pound signs and is pushing for even more night racing in the future, a canny move that will successfully obliterate any exciting novelty factor to the whole thing. When asked by the Beeb whether more night races were in the offing, Bernie crowed "If we have more races in this part of the world, yes...We're going to try to get Japan to do it". Joy. This follows his unsuccessful attempts to switch the Australian round to night time running earlier this year, and is a plan that makes approximately no sense whatsoever.
Uncommon Terry
Far be it from Patronise to poke fun at the mistakes of another LBL commentator, but there seems to be something rather fundamentally wrong with the Guardian's coverage of the Singapore event.
"Lap three: Rosberg having a scrappy lap and lets Trulli past when he runs wide exiting a corner - not good news for the BMW driver as Trulli is apparently heavy with fuel to start with."
"Lap 38: There's a neat little battle going on for the final points position. Raikkonen (10) was all over Nakajima (9), but it was the BMW who got past Trulli (8) at turn seven. Now Raikkonen has past the Toyota too. It's an impressive performance from the Japanese BMW man, but he's going to struggle to hold off the Ferrari driver, who desperately wants to take something away from this race."
Poor Williams can't get any coverage even when they do well these days.
Testing Times
Finally, in boring silly season news, neither Marc Gene or Luca Badoer will have the chance to drive slowly for someone next year, as they have both been signed on to continue their testing roles for Ferrari. An uninteresting article that Autosport barely dedicate a sentence to. Still, well done them. We bet Valentino Rossi is all sorts of jealous.
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