14.35 BST - Good afternoon, and welcome to what could possibly be the greatest sporting anti-climax since the Georgia v Russia beach volleyball match at the Olympics failed to end in an all-out planetary nuclear annihilation. The GP2 Series title is up for grabs in the final rounds of the 2008 championship here at Monza, but after qualifying yesterday, the title looks to be all-but won before we've even got started.14.40 BST - Yes, with championship leader Giorgio Pantano having grabbed the pole for this, the feature race, and the two points available for such a feat to boot, he now leads his rival Bruno Senna by 13 points in the standings, with just 18 left to play for. Furthermore, that pair of points means that the two outsiders for the crown, Lucas Di Grassi and Romain Grosjean, can no longer win the championship. Yet furthermorer (is that a word?) Bruno Senna only qualified in 12th place for today's race, leaving him with an uphill task to even get on the podium, never mind beat Pantano. You can tell I'm not regretting my decision to do an LBL update on this one bit, can't you.
14.45 BST - The science bit is over in the other tab. Suffice to say, Senna needs to finish 1st or 2nd and hope Pantano has some serious bother to stand a chance going into tomorrow's sprint race. Stranger things have happened though, and given that today's result sets tomorrow's grid, if Pantano were to hit trouble early on, he'd switch from being outright favourite to rank outsider quicker than you can say "oh bugger, I wanted him to win as well".
Particularly with the weather in Italy being as it has been this weekend. It's probably going to be quite a damp one this afternoon.
14.50 BST - In case you're not aware, here's the top dozen on the grid: 1: Giorgio Pantano, 2: Lucas Di Grassi, 3: Sebastian Buemi, 4: Luca Filippi, 5: Vitaly Petrov, 6: Pastor Maldonado, 7: Andreas Zuber, 8: Roldan Rodriguez, 9: Javier Villa, 10: Karun Chandhok, 11: Romain Grosjean, 12: Bruno Senna. I'm currently watching ITV's GP2 presenter Charlie Webster. She's fairly poor at the whole presenting gig to be perfectly honest, but looking at her, you can see a couple of reasons why she might have got the job.
14.55 BST - Oh, what? Let me crowbar in one breast joke at least. If that is all too insulting for you, the more important issue of F1 qualifying took place earlier. Check out all the bonkers results over here.
15.00 BST - Right, they're off on the formation lap. Just to pre-warn anyone actually reading this, I'm not really au fait on what all the cars of each driver look like, you'd need The Elbow here for that, and he's away practicing his best James Allen impression for tomorrow's Grand Prix, so I'm going to concentrate on following Pants and Senna as best I can, and fill in the odd detail here and there. Still, it should be fun, shouldn't it. DON'T LEAVE ME!
The race will start behind the safety car. My live feed is lagging a bit here. The commentator David Croft sounds like he's on mogadon.
Race
Lap 1 - Right, this is fun. Two laps behind the safety car now. Lots of spray even at low speeds. The skinny wings on all the cars look a bit silly in these circumstances.
Lap 3 - Safety car is in at the end of this lap then, Sakon Yamamoto, former Super Aguri legend, appears to have a problem already. I think he's spun.
Lap 4 - AND WE'RE RACING! AND WE'VE HAD A CRASH! First chicane, one car went up in the air, ploughing into the back of a rival in the spray. Andi Zuber is involved, and a couple of others, Vitaly Petrov and Javier Villa. Villa was the one who went up in the air. Scary. No safety car, weirdly. Pantano leads, Senna is dicing with Roldan Rodriguez for 8th place.
Lap 6 - Pantano continues to lead, Senna now clear in 8th and dicing with Karun Chandhok, his team mate, for 7th. Chandhok just got nailed by Grosjean for 6th. The sun is out, a bit, and conditions look likely to get better for the drivers as the race goes on.
Lap 7 - Chandhok runs wide at the Parabolica and through goes Bruno. Pantano some 2 seconds clear of Di Grassi now, with Maldonado in third.
Lap 8 - The cars are slip-sliding all over the place. Great fun. The lead is now out to 3.5 seconds, and Senna is now stuck behind Grosjean. Weather-wise, the track is now almost totally dry into the Ascari chicane.
Lap 11 - Ooooh, Pants has a wobble, messing up his braking and straightlining the first chicane. That's blown his lead, and Di Grassi is now right with him. Romain Grosjean passes Roldan Rodriguez for 5th in the scrap ahead of Senna.
Lap 12 - Pants messes up the first chicane AGAIN! Now, are the stewards going to have a look at this? You could argue that he's gaining an advantage over Di Grassi here. Interesting. Senna just did the same thing. There's a big puddle in the corner that may be confusing everyone's braking.
Lap 14 - The brilliantly named Pastor Maldonado is the quickest man on track at the moment, in third place, and he's reeling in the top two. By the by, everyone needs to make one mandatory pit stop in the race, and the question may be if anyone gambles on a switch to slicks at any point. And as I say that, Luca Filippi pits and does switch to the dry tyres! There's a gamble.
Lap 15 - A big gamble, as it turns out. Filippi goes straight on at the first chicane. But the track is almost dried in large portions now. I reckon slicks will be the tyre to be on within 5 laps or so. This is a 32 lap race, incidentally. Kamui Kobayashi, the Toyota tester, is elbowed off the track and he spins into retirement. Pants still leads, Senna still in 7th.
Lap 17 - Filippi is slow, and is about to be lapped! He lets the race leaders through fairly easily, but Di Grassi is now right on Pantano's tail. Maldonado still 3rd, Sebastian Buemi a distant 4th, then Grosjean, Rodriguez and Senna. Not a sterling recovery drive from Bruno, this.
Lap 19 - Bruno Senna is still stuck behind Rodriguez, and he's far more concerned with cooling his tyres on the damp patches than passing at the moment. Anti climax-tastic. Alvaro Parente retires after his jack breaks in the pit stop leaving him without a left rear tyre. "There you see: three tyres...you really need four" says David Croft.
Lap 20 - Bruno pits for slicks. Is there any way he can take advantage of the drying track to re-ignite his championship fight?
Lap 22 - Romain Grosjean also pits for slicks, along with Rodriguez, who rejoins still ahead of Bruno Senna. Oooh, Di Grassi and Maldonado are having a cracking fight for 2nd! The Pastor squeezes Di Grassi on the run to the first chicane, and takes the place away!
Lap 23 - We've just had our first fastest lap from a slick tyred car. Jerome D'Ambrosio sets the fastest lap. Now the frontrunners need to switch over to the slicks, and in comes Maldonado and Di Grassi! Unsafe release? Pastor comes out right in front of Di Grassi. Naughty.
Lap 24 - Bruno Senna back up to 9th place. Pantano pits from the lead! Good stop from his team, and he rejoins well clear in the lead. He's got almost the length of the pit straight as an advantage.
Lap 25 - All sort of Hamiltoning going on now. Di Grassi and Maldonado both straightline the second chicane as they continue to tussle, and Rodriguez short cuts the first chicane under pressure from Senna! Di Grassi passes Maldonado again for 2nd, and suddenly they're right on Pantano's tail.
Lap 26 - DRAMA! Pantano has been given a drive through penalty for crossing the white line at the pit exit! The race is back on again! And Luca Filippi has had a big one, he's out of the race.
Lap 27 - It's all going wrong for Pants, Di Grassi passes him for the lead just before the championship leader takes his drive through. Pants rejoins in 9th, out of the points.
Lap 28 - The title is still Pantano's mind, as things stand. Senna somehow needs to get up to 2nd place to keep in with a hope of taking the title tomorrow. And he's passes Rodriguez at least, for 5th place. Di Grassi still leads from Maldonado, Buemi, Grosjean and Senna.
Lap 30 - Oh dear, Senna attacks Grosjean at the first chicane, but has to go through the little slalom course and drops back behind him. Then he attacks into the Lesmos! But he runs wide and Grosjean again slips back through. Time running out for the famously-named one here.
Lap 32 - CHECKERED FLAG! - Lucas Di Grassi wins the final feature race of the year! Just holding on with Maldonado behind him, Buemi takes 3rd, Grosjean 4th and Senna 5th, which means: GIORGIO PANTANO IS THE 2008 GP2 CHAMPION!
Epilogue
16.05 BST - So the podium trio look happy enough, but the happiest man is the bloke who ended up crossing the line in 9th. Another nil-pointer for Pants (I make that just 10 points scored in the last 8 races for him), but he is the champion, with the final sprint race of the season still to come tomorrow.
16.10 BST - Good old Charlie dodges the champagne to speak to the new champ. He reckons he wouldn't have won anyway, given the pace of his car on slicks, but he's a bit upset about his drive through. Rather peversely, he's forced to watch his mistake again on a little monitor.
16.15 BST - Well then, congratulations to Pants, the most successful GP2 driver in the history of the series. Someone give him an F1 drive, stat! Congratulations also to anyone who has made it through to the end of this terry. The Elbow will review what happened today and what will happen tomorrow in the last GP2 weekend of the season soon enough. But we'll be back tomorrow afternoon with all the action from the main event this weekend, the Italian Grand Prix. Cheerio.
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