Surveying the Damage
Last week, PW had a bit of a snarky look at the 2009 FOTA fan survey, and how quite a lot of what "the fans" suggested was entirely ignored. But in the interests of fairness, decency, and because PW can't be bothered to think of another subject for discussion for this week's e-mail, let's take a look at why so many of the answers were ignored, by taking a look at how wildly different the conclusions from the 2010 survey may be.
One question on the survey asks whether you, the fan, watches races that are on at certain unsociable times of the day. Fair enough, PW lives in the UK but is happy to tune in whenever the races are on. But then the next question asks whether you record any of the unsociable races to watch later, which obviously PW doesn't. It actually watches them. Or else uses iPlayer.
But the results of those questions could easily be used to tell either side of the 'European market/flyaway races' issue, which is currently being weighted in favour of us Europeans by forcing night races, late kick-offs or somesuch other gimmick onto the venue. Will we see "75% of F1 fans don't bother recording early morning races!" headlines from FOTA used to justify more and more dodgy start times, or will they bear in mind the answers to the other question and note whether those who aren't recording it are doing that because they watched it live?
Elsewhere, there were some really weird options to some of the multiple choice "need more/need less" picklists. I mean, would PW like to see more "Helicopter views of the race"? Surely that depends entirely on what is happening on track at the time? Or what about "Lap/section split times"? What does that even mean? If we're talking snazzy NASCAR-style dynamic split times, which constantly change over the lap, then gimmie, gimmie, gimmie, but if it just means splitting the tracks into four sections, then PW would rather they spent their time doing something more important.
And then there's KERS. PW thought that KERS was a nice idea, but poorly implemented. It is intrigued by the idea of a generic 'boost button' becoming part of the sport, with limited boosts per race, but doesn't see a way to do this while still using KERS as a legitimate energy efficiency programme. So none of the options on either KERS question really adequately summed up PW's feelings on the subject. Eventually it just had to play dumb and tick the "I don’t know or understand KERS" box.
But still, in amongst all the confusion and general pointlessness of the whole venture, there was some opportunity for PW to have some fun. In the interests of being anti-establishment, PW selected that it would be supporting Campos in 2010, to annoy Bernie, named Marlboro as the main sponsor or company it thinks about when thinking of F1, to annoy the anti-tobacco lobby, and answered all the questions about LG at the end as if it had absolutely no idea who they were, to annoy everyone. Tee hee hee.
Stefan GP are doing the best at website good
If we are to see Stefan GP make the 2010 grid, and for the team to become a major international name off the back of their sudden appearence on the grid, then this will bring with it new challenges for PatroniseF1. Not only will we have to find that old Notepad file from 2007 with all the Mike Coughlan jokes in it, but the Stefan GP website will prvide the sternest competition yet for PatroniseF1's unrivalled status as the least proof-read Formula One website on teh whloe nintrnet.
And Patty will have it's work cut out to keep up with the new competition, what with Stefan GP already displaying an admirable devotion to the world of dodgy writing with their pre-season news blitz. "SGP becomes the first team in F1 history who did send a 40 foot container full of equipment to the race in Bahrain without having entry for 2010 season!" screamed one particular story, "It was very productive session and further cooperation are detailed. Obviously impressed with work done in TMG it was hard for him to keep smile away." garbled another.
It is truly refreshing to see the team going to the trouble to translate their stories into English without really checking whether the end result makes sense. If they do make the 2010 grid, PW very much hopes that they're sponsored by Babelfish.
Or maybe, Patty and Stefan should just join forces, and lead the way in poorly-grammared internet writing. After all, if the jobs section of the Stefan website is to be believed, the team has vacancies for "a talented and energetic applicant's to work within our SGP Team for various Formula 1 Team positions".
And the best part of the whole job specification? The team can promise that working with a grand prix team mans that "Some international travel may also be a feature". Sold! PW's CV is on it's way to Mr Stefanovic as we speak!
Quote of the Week
"It is not always easy to be fighting against drivers who bring millions, but I am not afraid of a challenge." - Happy Jacques throws his hat in the ring for a Renault drive should Comrade Petrov's cheque bounce. Number of quotes from Renault expressing an interest in signing Villeneuve for 2010: Zero.
News and Rumours
- The new 'Lotus' Formula One team have shaken off rumours that they are another new team without too much in the way of funding following their inability to sign Malaysian oil company Petronas as their main sponsor. Reports suggest that the team's new car "is not likely to feature the sponsorship logos of third party backers", but the team insisted that everything is fine and they will be on the grid in Bahrain. Well, that's ok then.
- The Team Vodafone Aussie V8 Supercar team want Lewis Hamilton to compete for them at the "Gold Coast SuperCarnivale" at Surfer's Paradise in the future, assuming that the event doesn't clash with any grands prix.
- "Who knows. But this year, Formula One is in a bit of a muddle" was Nelson Piquet Jr's response to whether or not he was ever likely to return to F1. You can fault many things about Piquet Jr, but you certainly can't fault his optimism.
- Australian Grand Prix organisers have heralded the power of "The Schumacher Factor" in helping their GP's ticket sales to swell by over 20% compared to 2009 sales.
- F1: The Movie is set to make it to the big screen, albeit in the form of a highbrow arty documentary by the executive producer of Martin Scorsese's recent Bob Dylan film No Direction Home. "Our goal is to achieve a big-screen action documentary experience with all of the style and charisma of the era," the makers were quoted as saying. It'll probably be bobbins compared to Driven.
Some shameless Patty links
- The Hand returns after his winter holidays to ask why there are no female F1 drivers here.
- The Head laments about Ickle's disappearence from the grid here.
- The latest Speed Trap is here.
- Keep up to date with all the latest news from the Jerez test, and be sure to check out an exciting PatroniseF1 liveblog of Saturday's action here.
- Follow all the latest news and speculation from the paddock with Patty's news section.
- Tweet us @PatroniseF1, or e-mail us comments, abuse or cancellation requests at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
Yours we announce now for e-mail brilliant-ingly,
Patty Weekly
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